I gathered at my state capitol this morning to participate in One Billion Rising for Justice. If you can’t make it to an OBR event, rise in your home - rise alone, and know that you have allies standing with you across the globe. Or tell me Why You Rise, and know that you’re being heard.
Today, I am rising for justice for my loved ones who no longer can. Today, I am rising for justice because no one should ever rise alone.
I love you all - I hope everyone has a safe, happy, healthy V-Day.
For fat women, being stylish isn’t a luxury. It’s often a necessity to get hired, to get access to healthcare, to get treated like a human being.
Fat women have all kinds of narratives about sloppiness, laziness, dirtiness to overcome. Sometimes heels are a crucial part of looking “put together” in a way that sufficiently convinces people that we care about ourselves, that manages to counteract pervasive cultural narratives that fat people don’t care about ourselves. That we have “let ourselves go.”
Being “put together” is part of the way many of us convey to a judgmental world that we are worth caring about.
I get treated completely differently at a $20 hair salon if I’m dressed up or dressed down. Two totally different experiences. I get treated differently at the doctor’s office, and at the emergency room. I can’t go to the ER in sweatpants, because I’ll get shittier treatment. In an emergency, I have to worry if I am dressed up enough to prove that I deserve respect and care.
This is so, so true, but I think it’s important to note that much of it is rooted in classism - the idea that poor people ARE fat, because of their laziness, while fatness happens to rich people but there’s still hope for them.
That’s not to say that fatphobia doesn’t happen to rich people, because it does - but it’s very much signifiers of wealth that make fat people (occasionally) “worthy” of respect. These are signifiers that lots of poor people can’t afford or get shamed for splurging on, and then judged, ignored, and marginalized when they don’t display them.
“Like many thrilling things women do—fucking or hitchhiking, being demoniacally ambitious or telling an asshole to stick a chainsaw in his eye—society tells us that growing up leads to ruin. Yes, you get older, but you can also grow tougher, kinder, braver. You can claw out the life you wanted. But as you age, the world will tell you you’re less worthy, even if you know that’s a lie. If there’s one thing society won’t stand for, it’s for a woman to be content.”—"On Turning 30," by Molly Crabapple (via magpieandwhale)
“You never get to the point where you think “I am the adult”, but you do get to the point where you think “I’ve dealt with this before.” The older you get, the higher and higher the percentage is of things you’ve already been through. Have you ever changed a tire? Had a flat tire? Someday, you might, and the next time it happens, you’ll know what to do, since you’ve already done it.”—
-My dad. I’m 24, and asked if you ever shake the feeling of not being an adult, and this was his response. Probably the most comforting thing he could have said.
“Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: He lit a cigarette. His glass of whiskey lit a cigarette too. “I can only truly love my best friend,” he said, “but not in a gay way. Women wouldn’t understand it. They’re too gay.” Both of the cigarettes agreed.”—
“What is significant about fan fiction is that it often spins the kind of stories that showrunners wouldn’t think to tell, because fanficcers often come from a different demographic. The discomfort seems to be not that the shows are being reinterpreted by fans, but that they are being reinterpreted by the wrong sorts of fans - women, people of colour, queer kids, horny teenagers, people who are not professional writers, people who actually care about continuity (sorry). The proper way for cultural mythmaking to progress, it is implied, is for privileged men to recreate the works of privileged men from previous generations whilst everyone else listens quietly.”—Sherlock and the Adventure of the Overzealous Fanbase by Laurie Penny (via linpatootie)
“Much like fairy tales, there are two facets of horror. One is pro-institution, which is the most reprehensible type of fairy tale: Don’t wander into the woods, and always obey your parents. The other type of fairy tale is completely anarchic and antiestablishment.”—
Guillermo del Toro on how horror is inherently political as a genre, Time Magazine (x)
You are one of a handful of people through whom I vicariously enjoy professional hockey. I used to be a hockey junkie - like in the mid 90s - when I lived in Detroit and the Red Wings couldn’t swing a dead Octopus without hitting a Stanley Cup. And then I immediately forgot everything I knew about the sport and the players, so whenever I see you tumbling about it I sort of get a little ignorant nostalgic pang, it’s actually really nice.
….OTHER THAN THAT. You are a lovely person with a wonderful eclectic taste in fandoms and politics and The World In General that I really enjoy. Your posts tend to pick me up, and I think your tumblr is curated in a really thoughtful, excellent way. Just the right mix of viral videos, total nonsense, feminism, literature, and gifs. Also it makes me really happy that we’ve managed to transfer our online contact from LJ to Tumblr because it totally blows that so many awesome people from that era haven’t found a new platform that they find comfortable. DON’T EVER LEAVE, YOU’RE GREAT.
HEY SO I have a lot of complicated feelings about you via tumblr and none of them are negative. It’s just, like, you’re one of those people where a) I cannot for the life of me remember how, when, or why we started following each other and b) back in the World of Blogging, we probably would be like…internet friends by now, or something? But this platform is so restrictive in terms of mutual dialogue, that instead I feel like I have this window into the life of a really cool person who I think is fascinating and wonderful.
I empathize with a lot of your issues - the family thing and the food/body thing and your SO seems like such a lovely person just VIA YOU, and you seem like this person who’s on the brink of a whole world of freedom and accomplishment and adulthood (not to say that you haven’t already achieved these things!) and you’re feeling a little frustrated and held back but one day YOU WILL NO LONGER BE FEELING RESTRAINED. And you’re totally aware of that! You’re so awesome!
Also: contentwise, I love what you blog, I am rarely so into a person’s content across the board, if our tumblrs were on OKCupid, we would have a really high match rating, or something. Also I love your tags? ”Fire under skin” as a phrase is actually what started making me more and more aware of “this person = this content” and then suddenly your blog was standing out all over the place. Please continue to be great, and thank you for sharing your greatness with the world.