Let’s take a look at a few of my favs so far;
Sassy Waterstones worker, I love you,
And well this is true:
Sometimes I do worry about their psyche though:
They make up cool new words;
They’re a sassy little shit.
And best of all, the Holden debacle;
And one more for good luck:
If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the safest place for a woman. It’s not.
If women covering up their bodies worked, Afghanistan would have a lower rate of sexual assault than Polynesia. It doesn’t.
If not drinking alcohol worked, children would not be raped. They are.
If your advice to a woman to avoid rape is to be the most modestly dressed, soberest and first to go home, you may as well add “so the rapist will choose someone else”.
If your response to hearing a woman has been raped is “she didn’t have to go to that bar/nightclub/party” you are saying that you want bars, nightclubs and parties to have no women in them. Unless you want the women to show up, but wear kaftans and drink orange juice. Good luck selling either of those options to your friends.
Or you could just be honest and say that you don’t want less rape, you want (even) less prosecution of rapists. —
A Short Post on Rape Prevention (via brute-reason)
Daaang! Well said.
In my ongoing quest for the perfect framework for understanding haters, I created The Disapproval Matrix**. (With a deep bow to its inspiration.) This is one way to separate haterade from productive feedback. Here’s how the quadrants break down:
Critics: These are smart people who know something about your field. They are taking a hard look at your work and are not loving it. You’ll probably want to listen to what they have to say, and make some adjustments to your work based on their thoughtful comments.
Lovers: These people are invested in you and are also giving you negative but rational feedback because they want you to improve. Listen to them, too.
Frenemies: Ooooh, this quadrant is tricky. These people really know how to hurt you, because they know you personally or know your work pretty well. But at the end of the day, their criticism is not actually about your work—it’s about you personally. And they aren’t actually interested in a productive conversation that will result in you becoming better at what you do. They just wanna undermine you. Dishonorable mention goes to The Hater Within, aka the irrational voice inside you that says you suck, which usually falls into this quadrant. Tell all of these fools to sit down and shut up.
Haters: This is your garden-variety, often anonymous troll who wants to tear down everything about you for no rational reason. Folks in this quadrant are easy to write off because they’re counterproductive and you don’t even know them. Ignore! Engaging won’t make you any better at what you do. And then rest easy, because having haters is proof your work is finding a wide audience and is sparking conversation. Own it.
The general rule of thumb? When you receive negative feedback that falls into one of the top two quadrants—from experts or people who care about you who are engaging with and rationally critiquing your work—you should probably take their comments to heart. When you receive negative feedback that falls into the bottom two quadrants, you should just let it roll off your back and just keep doin’ you. If you need to amp yourself up about it, may I suggest this #BYEHATER playlist on Spotify? You’re welcome.
** I presented The Disapproval Matrix to the fine folks at MoxieCon in Chicago yesterday, and they seemed to find it useful, so I figured I’d share with the class. It was originally inspired by a question my friend Channing Kennedy submitted to my #Realtalk column at the Columbia Journalism Review.
Day Jobs of the Poets
lookit the bunnies munching frost’s carrots, omggggggg
I think I just need to accept the fact that I love everything by Grant Snider.
Gurl, you crazy.': I'm getting a kitten -
This will be my first kitten, so I don’t have anything for it yet. Since I’ve learned a lot about many issues from Tumblr (and have seen a few informative pet posts), I wanted to ask you guys for your opinions!
1) What do I need to buy prior to picking the kitten up?
2) What brands…
1. Kitty litter and box. Make sure this is somewhere secluded- like, say a closet or a bathroom. Make sure you change it at least once every two weeks. If you’ve got like, say, asthma or something, you might want to change it more often- and make sure you cover your mouth when changing, obvs, because that dust on your chest? No good.
Speaking from experience, this and food are really all you need because buying things like a bed won’t work- my cat just sleeps on backpacks for some reason. You could get a scratching post, but again, cats will do what they please. Oh, and a collar too obviously ;)
2. Hard food is cheaper than wet food and with only a few exceptions, you should stick to hard food. We use Meow Mix, but if you want to use wet food, 9 lives is good too.
3. Uh…can’t think of anything else.
Thanks for this! :)
Oh man, I just wanna throw this out there, Tracy, but my kitten WOULD NOT ACCEPT anything other than a litter box being cleaned daily. She was feral, and came in from the wild, where when she could poop FAR AWAY from where she lived or ate, so the whole litter box concept was like “….what.” Other important things to have:
- Spray bottle filled with water for discouraging activities like, I don’t know, eating your food off your dinner plate. Yelling doesn’t really phase cats. Do NOT use your spray bottle for stuff like… the cat is meowing too much, or wants too much attention, or wants to sit on you when it’s inconvenient.
- Anti-pheromonal pee spray stuff. If cats pee on something, no matter how well you clean it, they will always know they peed there. And want to pee there again. So you spray this stuff on it so that they DON’T pee there again. Not necessarily an advanced purchase, but just so you know it exists. Not all kitties have the urge to wee on things.
- Some kind of a toy! I agree you shouldn’t go overboard, but those little fuzzy mice that go dingle dingle on the inside are pretty popular with every cat I’ve ever met. That, or feathers on a stick. Playtime with kitten lets it know it’s loved and helps it bond to you quickly. But kitten will let you know what it likes best - hair ties or milk jug rings or onion peels or crumbled up paper balls or whatever.
- Check and make sure none of your houseplants are poisonous. Yikes.
- POST PICTURES PLZ.
On Periods: Let’s put this shit to bed right now: Women don’t lose their minds when they have period-related irritability. It doesn’t lower their ability to reason; it lowers their patience and, hence, tolerance for bullshit. If an issue comes up a lot during “that time of the month,” that doesn’t mean she only cares about it once a month; it means she’s bothered by it all the time and lacks the capacity, once a month, to shove it down and bury it beneath six gulps of willful silence. —
Shakesville: Feminism 101 (via andotherdoublemeanings)
Dr Jones & Jr.