Photo
clitmassacre:

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris offers my absolute favorite descriptions of Easter. I only hope that I can one day be asked what Easter is so that I can say these things.

clitmassacre:

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris offers my absolute favorite descriptions of Easter. I only hope that I can one day be asked what Easter is so that I can say these things.

Photoset
Photo
dicktouching:

artjonak:

The great-great-great grandchildren of Dickens take a selfie with him on his 202nd birthday.

this is a very important thing that everyone needs to see.

dicktouching:

artjonak:

The great-great-great grandchildren of Dickens take a selfie with him on his 202nd birthday.

this is a very important thing that everyone needs to see.

(via sunhawk)

Photo
magog83:

Oh Britain.

magog83:

Oh Britain.

(via zeplum)

Text

Anonymous said: If you were a dude....would you have a big penis?

gabbysilang:

Well, sweet nonnie, first off let’s make sure we understand that being a dude doesn’t always mean you have a penis, and having a penis doesn’t always mean you’re a dude, that I could very well have a penis while still being a woman, and that my own gender identity leans towards the genderqueer, complicated sometimes by my current penchant for dressing relatively femme…let’s phrase this as “If you were a person who has a penis, would you have a big penis?”

I have no idea, anon! My hands are a bit  relatively big for my body, and so are my feet, so there’s that? Ok, yeah, let’s go with that. I would have the biggest goddamn schlonger you have ever seen, irl or on the internet. It would inconvenience me on the daily.  I’d have a note from my doctor so that the TSA would know not to be alarmed during my pat-down. It would be the size of a 10-yr-old child. It would be registered to vote. 

Photoset

fitzefitcher:

daggerpen:

monicalewinsky1996:

Trigger warning: Breakfast

Holy shit.

reasons why we don’t make fun of seemingly odd triggers

(via partycockroach)

Chat
  • East coasters: I drove through 17 states on the way to work
  • West coasters: I have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. Generations have died. Children have been born. When will I make it to the promised land
  • Midwesterners: I haven't left a 20 mile radius in 2 years
  • Texans: Are we out of Texas yet it's been 5 months
  • Floridians: Please help me there are so many oranges they are attacki–
Tags: cackling
Quote
"Meanwhile, the presumed stockpile of penis photos taken by Hollywood actors remains curiously untouched"

— A line from an EW article questioning why it’s only women in Hollywood who have their privacy violated x (via pansycakeofwesteros)

(via immlass)

Photoset

(Source: spoopytodd, via partycockroach)

Chat
  • decades of horror cinema: what if maturing girls developed telekinesis, would that be scary or what
  • matilda: what if maturing girls developed telekinesis, hell yeah, that would fuckin own